My Ethical Spiritual Will
My dearest Rebecca, Rachel and Sarah,
Being a mom is the most important job that I have. I truly believe that you girls are a gift from God and I am blessed that He entrusted me with my three beautiful daughters. I have tried to raise you so that you are independent, well-rounded, true to your faith and filled with gratitude.
My goal as a mother is to teach you the joy of giving of your time, talents and treasure. Your life experiences will enrich you deeper than showering you in material possessions. I believe in positive parenting, trying to reason with a child, and exercising patience. I believe that you need to put a big sign on the refrigerator that says, “It Doesn’t Matter.” It helps keep things in perspective; in the big scheme of things does it really matter if you had ice cream for breakfast or stayed up fifteen minutes later.
I believe in nursing, rocking, singing and playing with you. I believe that it’s important to be involved in your lives. I believe in the saying, “One hundred years from now, it will not matter what kind of car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, how much money I had in my bank account nor what my clothes looked like. But the world may be a little better because I was important in the life of a child.”
Other guides I used to parent were Parenting with Love and Logic by Fay and Cline, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and The 10-10-10 Principle by Suzy Welch; when faced with a decision, determine the consequences and outcome of your various options in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years.
I believe that the single most important thing that you’re in charge of is your ATTITUDE. First and foremost have an ATTITUDE of GRATITUDE. Be thankful for all of the blessings that you have received no matter how big or small. Secondly, you might not be able to control all of things that happen to you but you are in charge of how you respond to the hand that you are dealt. You can mope around and be a Grumpy Gus IV or you can analyze the situation and see what you can learn from it.
I believe that happiness comes from within. You are not going to find it in material possessions or in other people. It’s also important to live within your harvest. Your job should be your passion. I have found that I need humor to survive both on and off the job.
I believe that the three most important things to have are Faith, Family, and Friends.
FAITH – I have tried to root you in faith so that you are well grounded. Put complete trust in God, He will provide and never give you more than you can handle. He needs to be your rock. When we travel, the first thing we determine is what time is Sunday Mass and all of our plans revolve around that time. What matters is going to church. Being there weekly rejuvenates my soul to get me through the next week.
I believe in living a life of service, in being a servant leader. I believe that we are all given talents and that we need to give back to the community, giving our time, talents and treasure. I believe that you should always leave something better than you found it. Nana and Papa have been prime examples on what it means to give back to the community.
FAMILY – Our family is as tight-knit as they come. It’s easy to take our family for granted and to think that all people have a relationship like ours. It wasn’t until I took a step back and thought, “you know, this isn’t the norm,” that I really realized what we have. I want you to value it as well. I believe in the statement, “It takes a village to raise a child.” You can be thankful that Great Granny, Nana & Papa, Aunt Lisa & Uncle John, and your cousins were such an integral part of your upbringing. I believe that blood is thicker than water.
FRIENDS – You will have all different types of friends in your circle. Friendships need to be nourished along the way. Find the good in people and treat them the way that you want to be treated. It’s okay to have friends for different situations, because they will fill different needs.
When searching for your soul mate, Nana’s advice still stands, “Don’t go into a relationship expecting the other person to change, in general people do not change.” I believe that your spouse should be not someone that you can live with, but be the person that you can’t live without. I believe that communication is the most important factor in a relationship. Your soul mate needs to support your passions and dreams. They need to be educated and have a good work ethic. It also makes it easier if he shares the same spiritual beliefs. I’m stubborn so I also believe that it’s okay to go to bed mad. Lately I’ve trying to implement the 100 / 0 principle, that I am responsible for 100% of the relationship, expecting nothing (0%) in return. I know how difficult this can be. After all, two stubborn people have been married for twenty years and both still have one leg in the pants; still fighting for the second leg.
During my next fifty years I am going to try to master the Never Complain, Never Explain Principle. I want to be a winner and never waste my valuable time on complaints and explanations.
One of my favorite stories is The Invisible Mom. “As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.” Another favorite saying is, “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant.” Once again I’m thankful that God entrusted me with three beautiful daughters. It has been a blessing to nurture you and continue to watch you bloom in your faith, family and friends. You truly are a gift from God.
Continue to believe in yourself as I have always believed in you.
All my love,
Renee Marie Liming